How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Help. Why am I so naked?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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