How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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