still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
