I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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