my mouth tastes like poor choices
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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