But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
