Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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