it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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