So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
