What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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