What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
