I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
