she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
