i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
