You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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