I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
