she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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