is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
tell your sister to shave her snatch
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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