Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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