Bisexual people are plain selfish.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
