She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
