would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You need a sexual gate keeper
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
