okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
