That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I think people are normalizing furries
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
