all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
