Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
