They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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