I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
