thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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