i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
