So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
