Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
