Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
