Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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