Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
