just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
