Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
