Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
