Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
