I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
