Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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