piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
