a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
youre lurking in front of me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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