I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
