I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
