I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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