The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
