I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
