Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
