So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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