so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
