Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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