Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
