Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The ass gains better be worth it
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