I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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